Til death, do we part!
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal"
Unknown
It’s an old age tradition that before we embark on a new year we set out goals and aspirations that we wish to strive for during the year ahead.
Unfortunately, statistics show
that a high percentage of us abandon our resolutions by the end of February. As
the year commences I wanted to bring to your attention (in particularly the
black community) the importance of buying and ensuring that you and those close
to you have life insurance and make sure that your affairs are in order as part
of your resolution going forwards.
In recent years, it seems that
we the black community have had a high rate of deaths and over the past 10
years I personally have attended more funerals than I have birthday parties,
weddings or christenings. It appears that funerals and nine nights (Caribbean
wake) have become a ‘social event’ where the community now comes together (and
very frequently at that). Death has never discriminated against age,
race, social status or wealth and although the bible suggests that we should
live up to three scores and a ten (70), we are losing family members and
friends of all ages.
However I’ve discovered, through
personal observations and a number of conversations with family, friends and
acquaintances we are slowly losing our traditions. On top of this,
funeral costs have spiralled; with a basic burial funeral amounting to £9,204
(including wake, flowers, order of service, additional cars and legal fees etc)
at a minimum. For, the black community I believe we should add an additional
30% to these costs. Our community is more likely to be looking to spend at
least £12,000 for a funeral. It has been suggested that the funeral
industry is now worth approximately £2
billion a year with costs rising above inflation during the last 10 years.
It has also been rumoured ( a documentary on this subject was aired some
years ago) and suggested that funeral homes over charge people of colour.
Crazy right? What’s even more crazy is that if we leave no
provisions for our family (who are not only left with the pressure of losing a
loved one, but also trying to find thousands of pounds in a matter of weeks to
lay them to rest) this can result in financial hardship and debt for our
relatives later on.
The UK BAME communities’ culture
and traditions encourage open funerals and as a consequence we tend to have
very large funerals because our grandparents and/or parents were the first and
second generation to arrive in the UK. Whilst settling and forming their
foundations the BAME communities developed a very strong community spirit
amongst ourselves, therefore we routinely attend a funeral to offer support to
the grieving family and to pay respect to the individual who has passed away.
My mother always told me that
during the loss of a loved one, it’s important for friends and extended family
to support the bereaved family which is something that I totally agree with,
but what I have apprehensions of is when a funeral becomes more of a get
together and rave. In my mind this style of event can devalue the
culture, taint the true purpose of what these traditions signify and influence
what we are teaching the younger generation - to do the same.
I agree that as time goes by we
adapt as we evolve, but it is important for us to maintain and pass down the
authentic traditions to the younger generation which I think as adults of the
community we are currently failing to do.
As a descendant of Caribbean
heritage it is customary for us to have a wake on the ninth night that the
deceased passed away, whereby we assist them in their travelling to their final
resting place. Back in the days a nine night
would be held at the deceased’s house and we would celebrate their life by
praying for them, singing hymns, eating and drinking. We would all cook
and bring drinks to share. Today, nine nights have changed; it’s become
the warm up to the funeral, a social gathering, a place where you meet up with
friends and family from the past. We seldom conduct the prayers and hymns
which were the primary reason for the wake and instead of this being held in the
home because of the large numbers of people, they are now held in a hall with
the family occasionally having to pay for caterers to accommodate - an
additional expense to the mounting funeral costs.
A number of reports
show that BAME groups are disadvantaged in a number of areas such as
employment, education, savings, etc and most either are self employed or work
in low income employment. As a consequence, this enables the exclusion of
BAME groups from accessing financial services such as financial advice and
affordable loans. 60%
of BAME people in the UK do not have any savings in comparison to their white
counterparts, with white families average household asset wealth at £221,000
compared with £97,000 Pakistani, £76,000 Black Caribbean, Black African £21,000
and Bangladeshi families having £15,000. Based on these stats, it is important
for us to ensure that we engage with the appropriate organisations ahead of an
emergency to ensure that we purchase the right insurances to prevent further
hardship and uncertainty for our families.
Some of us may already be
partially covered by our employers and may be eligible to ‘death
in service’ which is a benefit that pays an employee’s next of kin two to
four times the amount of their annual salary eg someone on £25,000 per year
beneficiary’s could receive a payment between £50,000 - £100,000. To
determine if you qualify for this benefit, it’s important to speak with your employers
Human Resources department who can advise you on what you are entitled to. Although, statistics suggest that most BAME groups have a low income, ensuring
that we have the appropriate life insurance cover is still affordable
especially as it is suggested that black people in the UK are the highest
consumers with a £300
billion share in the market.
In addition to buying life
insurance, it is important for us to have a will
as it will clearly set out our requests for who we want to be in charge of
managing our estate and who we would like to give our money, property and
possessions to when we pass away. It can also set out our wishes for our
funeral arrangements and if we have any dependents who we would like them to go
to. This not only makes things easier for the family, it also prevents disputes
amongst family members, as often when people are grieving they can lose sight
of any sense of compromise and more often than not, everyone assumes they
knew the deceased the most and assumes they know what they would like better
than the rest.
Over 60%
of adults from the age range of 18 to over 55 years do not have a will, with
75% of 35 – 54 year olds not having a valid will in place despite having
children and financial commitments. By not having a valid will in place,
the government will consider that you or a loved one have died ‘intestate’,
this means that they will decide who is eligible to inherit your possessions.
Dying intestate could result in eliminating children/ grandchildren from
previous marriages or relationships and cohabiting partners and your loved ones
may have to pay more inheritance tax, thus losing out on potential generational
wealth.
We delay putting off doing one
of the most critical things in our life for a number of reasons such as
thinking we have enough time to do it, we do not have enough assets and for
most of us sticking our heads in the cloud. Unfortunately however,
death is inevitable for all of us and none of us can predict (God forbid) when
this will happen. It is important for all of us (even those as young as
18 years old) to get our affairs in order whilst we still have the say.
This can be cost effective if we shop around, talk to reputable financial
advisors and legal professionals, all it requires is commitment and time on our
behalf, but once it has been done we can have the piece of mind in the
knowledge that we have put things in place (as best we can).
You can buy life insurance from
as little as £5 per month and you can also buy a will stationery kit from any
reputable outlets such as WHSmith for as little as £5 - 25 - to secure your
families future does not have to be expensive (depending on the circumstances).
Finally, it’s pointless if once
we have sorted out our affairs, we do not keep it secure. You do not need
to share the contents of your will; however it is IMPORTANT that you
store it in a safe and secure place where it can be found. Therefore, it
is recommended that you tell your executor (as well as write it down) where it
is and how they can get this. There are a number of options that you can
consider (but not exclusive), which can be found on the Money Advice Service
website here,
but please ensure you do your research and go with what makes you most comfortable.
Please don’t delay this any
further, do the right things and ensure that your family is left in an
emotional, mental and financially secure position. To start the ball rolling I
have included a few useful links to help you with your research and
get the process rolling:
Despite being uncomfortable reading - this piece is crucial reading. The inevitability of death means that we should prepare for it. I never considered the fall out and effects of not planning. Thank you for the wake up call.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I feel it is important that we understand the implications if we do not make arrangements ahead of an emergency. It prevents so much for the family members left behind. We also need to have these serious discussions with our young adults to. As the old Caribbean saying goes ‘prevention is always better than the cure’
ReplyDeleteLady, this was an excellent read and well needed nudge in the right direction. I will be circulating and thank you for taking your time to invest in our community by penning such a blog. Hopefully this will be forwarded/viewed/read with the same enthusiasm as those unimportant videos we are all accustomed to seeing.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. As people we take things for granted and put vital things off and for some it comes too late and at a high cost.
DeleteIt’s important that those in a position who are able to gather the information to share the knowledge. With knowledge, comes empowerment.